So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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