Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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