Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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