East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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