Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
