DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
