Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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