Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
