Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
