We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
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A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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