Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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