Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
