i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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