and i looked up. we had an audience...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
