porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
