im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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