clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
