Can i not drive my cunt home
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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