Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
