I just pynch a tree in the face
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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