can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
