At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We have started to decorate penises.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
