dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
