HIV tests are more positive than that guy
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
