I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
