I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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