this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
do herpes really smell.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
