my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
