Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
