He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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