Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
