I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
