But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
