Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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