You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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