Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
