Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
