i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
