Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
