We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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