I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
