Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
