I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
