I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
