help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
