I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
