I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
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I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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