she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
