Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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