Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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