you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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