I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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