I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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