Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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