Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
