I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
