i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
