I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
