I think I died a long time ago.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
