Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize