Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The best revenge is premature balding
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
