Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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