I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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