I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
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