I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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