I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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