Plan B is the new Plan A
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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