ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
