Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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