I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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